Ryan Caldwell once terrified people for a living. On the rugby field, standing at 6ft 7in, he had a reputation as an uncompromising enforcer for Ulster, Bath and Exeter. He relished physical contact and never backed down from a fight. He won two Ireland caps at the age of 25, but injuries and indiscipline never allowed him to run up the bounty of caps that his physical gifts should have promised.

Shortly after his rugby career ended at 30 due to head injuries, he sat on the edge of his bed in Maghaberry Prison near Lisburn, shaking and scared. His life was out of control and he had sabotaged everything he once held dear. Relationships and rugby were gone. He was doing and dealing drugs, in with a tough crowd where he looked the part, but felt completely alone. He decided he couldn’t live with fear anymore and tried to end his life.